Super Sized

Mes Amis

Lard Ass... I mean, we all knew he was right even before we saw the film, right? Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me got its terresitrial premiere on (gasp!) Channel fuckin' 4 (as it is now officially known) the other night. I missed this at the movies so this was a chance to have all my suspicions (and insider knowledge) confirmed. A couple years ago I worked at McDonalds (a Customer Care Assistant) and gained a lot of weight. More than a lot. I went from average to lardy. Not overly lardy but just blobby around the middle and heavier than I used to be. And I can't get it off (not without dedicating myself, I suspect, to some kind of super diet) even now. One of the things Spurlock fails to mention, even though he notices most McD's employees are lardasses is the cunning way McDonald's gets you to eat its food. By paying the absolute minimum it can and by giving you one forty-five minute break per day (or that's how it was when I was there) you have no choice but to eat the free meal they provide. Being a part timer I only ate the food maybe three to four days a week but it was enough. The work, even on the front, is physically tiring. You don't sit down, you're dealing with heat and those customers think you're there just to be pushed around. And eating McD's - as Spurlock demonstrated - ain't exactly condusive to energy, but rather saps it away. Add to that you have the stink of fries and "meat" in your nostrils all day and you take it home with you in your hair and clothes. Another thing I noticed when I was there - and Spurlock mentions this briefly but is more concerned with other matters connected - is that kids don't actually like McDonald's. Seriously. Spurlock points out the conditioning that gets them in. And what I remember is kids leaving bits of burger around because they didn't like them, but being delighted because they got the toy or they got to see the clown. The parents - who are harrassed enough at having to drag their child in - yell at the kid about eating "all your food; think of the starving people in Elbonia" and the kid eats and gradually aclimatises themselves to the food through sheer persistence. I've never been happier since I stopped eating McDonald's. But you know the odd thing, every so often I get a craving for KFC or Burger King even though I *know* they must be doing exactly the same things to me that eating McDonalds three or four times a week for a year did.

Pukka... and it pains me to say this but I'm gaining more respect for Jamie Oliver, who may have all that mockney fucking chirpy chappy shit going on, but at least he's doing good things like trying to convince the government to think about food and training those fuckin' ungrateful chefs up, too. A thankless task. And I guess its also good to see him act like a human being and swear a little. And I know its not cool to say you have respect for the Oliver, but hell, you can't deny he's trying to do something to get our food back on track.

"I saw its mother!"... Forget the fuckin' deadly-dull, horrifically preachy Exorcist. Really. Anyone who says its the pinnacle of horror is deluding themselves (the pinnacle of real horror in case you were wondering is anything with Vannessa Feltz, but I wouldn't advise you to watch anything like that for entertainment). The Omen is where its at. I love this film and having just watched it again, I have to say nothing beats a creepy child, nothing beats Grrregry Peck running from the devil dogs and nothing beats PATRICK TROUGHTON (who spends a lot of time shouting and hence the caps) as the mad and drug addled priest. Few films still scare me. The Shining is one ("Come and play with is... forever and ever...") - just don't watch the Stephen King approved Mini Series which is appallling - and the Omen is another. But why, I ask myself, do I still have this compulsion to go see the new Amityville starring Ryan "Van Wilder, Shite Liasion" Reynolds?

Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now

Au Revoir

Russel