Harry Potter and the Half-Wit Public

Mes Amis

Oh, oh, oh its (not) magic... I have a name for my pain and that name is Harry Potter. As some of you may know, in my real life I work in the world of book retail. And that means that tomorrow is the day from hell. Oh, yes, Harry Potter is released on the world. Already today we've had hundreds of half-wits (well maybe a few less, we're a small shop) asking us to buy it today. They can't understand why we can't sell it to them*. "But its oan releese at midnight, mahn," they say, scrunching up their foreheads in confusion. "Ye's can fuckin gie us it noo, likes." And that's just the five years olds. I am proud to say I have not read Potter. And its not because of some half-assed stuck-up pretentious, "I'm cooler than you" bullshit. Its just because, frankly, I don't care. I might get round to it one day. And I think its great if it encourages kids to read but I don't know that it does. I suspect it just encourages them to read Harry Potter. Will they move on to discover other literary delights? I doubt it, sometimes. I might be wrong but when you see some of the neanderthal kids who stumble into our store, its clear they don't care about other books. Just the one they're told to buy (JK Rowling has an amazing advertising campaign). Of course, a few do surprise me. I'm pleasantly surprised to see Horrowitz is still popular (I loved the Diamond Brother books when I was young) and all the girls love Jackie Wilson, you know, the one who writes about that girl Tracey who owns a beaker (or something like that: I know she didn't sing Reet-Petite).

Anyway, the fact is I hate this time of year so probably this post is filled with biased bile. I accept that and if you want to defend Harry go ahead. The fact is I'm not railing against Harry or JK (Who'da thought as well as funking out and wearing hats he was a bestselling female author of children's novels) but rather against the pathetic amount of fuss made over this one book and the pressure on retailers at the time of its release. Retail makes you cynical that way. I hate a Harry Potter release. I hate the bloodlust, I hate the fact that adults try to look cool by buying an adult edition and most of all I hate the idea of midnight openings. I hate the competition for pricing. Luckily our shop is small enough we dodged a bullet this year with the midnight opening malarkey.

Oh well, all power to Ms Rowling. Wish I had her bank balance (as do many other authors.)

In the meantime, have a read about it all in The Guardian.

*We can't sell it because if we do then Bloomsbury's Laser Satellite Tracking System is alerted and we're visited by the CEO, armed with some sellotape, a broom handle, a rabbi and a small Hamster called Horace. I won't go into details...


Too Hot to sleep... Really, folks, its a Dundonian heatwave here... I'm melting in this heat and the worst thing is it gets really hot at night so I can't even relax then. Mind you, here's one cure for sleeplessness I know not to try. Although the part before the scooter sounds worth a try.

Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now.

Au Revoir

Russel