Mes Amis
Fantastic... If Christopher Ecclestone says that one more time, I'm going to take my TV and throw it out the window. Really. I mean, I'm loving the new series of Doctor Who. Its cheesy, cheerful and so at ease with itself that its easy to sit back and enjoy the ride (except maybe for the inexplicably awkward first episode). And its from the bloke who wrote Dark Season; when I was young, it was one of my fave TV shows featuring power crazed (and possibly lesbian) Nazies searching for ancient computer systems underneath small British schools.
This week's episode, with the Doctor and Rose (the actually surprisingly watchable Ms Piper who would be attractive were it not for her oddly unnatural eyebrows which I'm sure are some alien life form that's attached itself to her head while she wasn't looking) stuck in war-torn London and facing zombie-like creatures wearing gasmasks and crying for their mummy was absolutely... um... fantastic! Richard Wilson's cameo was nicely creepy (although I almost expected him to cry, "I don't believe it!" when all the zombies sat up in the hospital beds) and as for this new companion, Captain Jack... well, let's leave judgement for a few episodes and see if he can try and stop being the most irritating prat in the whole time/space contimuum. Why Rose swoons all over him is anyone's guess. His American accent as so unconvincing one has to wonder whether its the British revenge for Keanu Reeve's Jonathan Harker in Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula. He makes Peri (Nicola Bryant, who - accompanied by her hypnotic breasts - travelled in the TARDIS with Colin Baker's mentally unstable and ill-fated sixth Doctor) sound like she was a native. But so far for every wrong turn the new show has taken, its made at least three right ones so hopefully Captain Jack will develop some kind of character as time goes by and maybe even start to sound like the American he supposedly is.
Pity Poor Edgar... Edgar Styles is the most unfortunate character in the history of TV... played by the chubby and permanently sweating Louis Lombardi (Who has only ever played one role - the fat, sweaty nervous guy - but does it spectactularly well) has - in the span of one day - had his mother commit suicide but still managed to save a good percentage of the American continent from nuclear meltdown, tracked down several terrorist suspects and generally saved the asses of everyone in CTU more times than anyone can count. And yet, this being the world of 24, no one has actually bothered to stop and say thankyou. No, instead, when he asks for clarification on a task all anyone can do is question whether he's able to do his job. Well, don't worry Edgar, we're rooting for you... Almost as much as we're rooting for mad Jack Bauer who wouldn't be able to spell constitution if he was given a dictionary and all the letters in the wrong order. Jack's so ludicrously crazy its no wonder CTU gives him carte blanche to do whatever he likes; I wouldn't argue with him.
Speaking of Crazy... Nip/Tuck gets more luidcrous (and somehow more compelling) with every episode. Let's catch you up to speed, shall we? Sean and Christian are plastic surgeons. Sean was married with a wife, daughter and son. But then his son went and slept with his life coach, who had also been treating Sean's wife. This also ended up revealing that Christian was Sean's son's real father so Sean went loopy, threw his wife out and started sleeping with a porn star (and her "real doll") who had previously been sleeping with Christian (before she went loopy and tried to cut off his dick). Meanwhile, it transpires that the life coach (played by the gorgeous Famke Jansen) has been sleeping with her own son while she's been sleeping Sean's son. Oh, yes, and there's a guy on the loose who's been slashing people's faces and Sean has been fixing them even though the slasher has threatened to kill him.
Right, take a breath. Because tonight's finale went even more loony tunes on us poor viewers. Famke, it transpies, is a man. Or she was. You see, she'd been in love with Alec Baldwin - who was playing a famous doctor now turned Botanist - while she was a man. But he couldn't love a man so he finally gave her the operation so he could love him/her but then realised he couldn't get the image of Famke as a man out his mind even though she was now a rather good looking lady. So she went loony and nipped off with their adopted son to start sleeping with him. And then she became a life coach. Honestly, if the production values weren't so high and the actors so good, this could be a daytime soap. But the fact that everyone in the show takes it so seriously helps. The scripts are actually really smart and despite its dramatic trappings you have to suspect this is really just a very black comedy where none of the characters are in on the joke. It needs a third season and I will be watching. Yes, its glossy and ludicrous and about as belieavable as Vin Diesel playing a top soldier assigned to look after children (wait a minute...) but it is still one of the best and most intelligently mindless drama series on the box. If you haven't been watching, then shame on you, my friends...
Anyway, mes amis, there's more on t'telly tonight so..
Au Revoir
Russel
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