Something about nothing
I sat behind a girl engrossed in her book on the bus today, so as is my want i read a little over her shoulder. Unfortunatly the first line I came across began
"Frankly, Samantha..."
I pondered wether I would read a book that contains such frantically bad lines as 'frankly samantha...' and concluded that no, I wouldn't. Then I thought, 'do people actually talk like that?'. I pondered all the way from Braehead to the sewage treatment plant. I recall at points saying 'frankly' but I was being sarcastic (unlike me I know). Lines like "frankly officer russ does these things" spring to mind. But I don't think I ever have in a serious context. I don't think I'd let anyone talk to me like that either. "Frankly Beca....*smack*....uggghhh". So I won't read her book. If I knew the title.
why the moonlight on your shell,its beautiful
I am finally fufilling a dream I've had for a few years now. I'm getting an african land snail. I am very excited. Ordered it today (ahhh ebay!) More news as I get it!!
Wednesday, July 27
Tuesday, July 26
a poem by me
I tried to make a home porn movie
just 'cause I was feeling groovy
I rolled around, a moaner groaner
all that was missing was a boner
A kinky fetish I did try
and caught a furball in my eye
I tried a carrot in my anus
a desperate bid to make me famous
the end snapped off, alak alas.
and now its stuck deep in my ass
going through a freaky phase
I introduced some mayonnaise
its gone, too lost for eva
then lost some cabbage-just a sliva
Now Im famous-really big!
I go out hidden in a wig!
I made histry
who could have foresaw
I made the first
porn anal coleslaw
just 'cause I was feeling groovy
I rolled around, a moaner groaner
all that was missing was a boner
A kinky fetish I did try
and caught a furball in my eye
I tried a carrot in my anus
a desperate bid to make me famous
the end snapped off, alak alas.
and now its stuck deep in my ass
going through a freaky phase
I introduced some mayonnaise
its gone, too lost for eva
then lost some cabbage-just a sliva
Now Im famous-really big!
I go out hidden in a wig!
I made histry
who could have foresaw
I made the first
porn anal coleslaw
Ignore this message
I thought my life was complete until Russ posted that picture of the delectable David Tennant as Dr Who. I had so much missing from my life and didn't even know.
I have to admit, I really enjoyed the last series, and now I'm looking forward to the next one getting going.It was utter saturday night telly; leave your brain at the door. Nice writing, good acting, funny and cheeky.
I arrive at Dr Who from a slightly different angle from the Russmyster as I was never particularly fan- I did however have a crush on Sylvester McCoy but I don't think that counts. Ashamed as I am to admit it the first full episode of Dr Who I ever watched had Christopher Ecclestone in it. Shocking!
I have pretended to be a Dr Who fan however- I have been inside a real dalek and I have clapped the original K-9. Sad but true as metallica once sang
clickety click
I foolishly use two email addresses at work. The one you can swear on, make lewd comments and generally be awful in (yahoo) and the work one which I have discovered actually blots out rude words for you (MS outlook)
This has resulted in a particularly tiresome game of email ping pong where I have to click between email accounts to see if I have emails.
I have a confession to make.
I'm one of those people who constantly checks to see if I have mail. Its actually scary. I don't even think about it I just *click ,click, click* all the time. Every mouse depression is my little soul shouting "somebody love me pleasse!!!" I know no joy like a '1 unread message' sign.
gimmie coffee an a labotomy
I just opened a sachet of sugar in the coffee room while chatting with a guy from another department, y'know casual like. I then proceeded to throw the sugar in the bin and chuck the empty sachet in my cup. While doing this I was explaining how I had two computer screens and I couldn't get them both to work. After this display the general feeling was 'thats not suprising'
I now have both working (thanks davie)and can have two things open at once- just now I have blogger open on one screen and a word doc. open on the other and my pointer rolls between them both. Thats pretty cool you have to admit. Or I'm really behind with the times and everyone has it except me and again, I'm late to the party-again. anyway I'm going to boot my Commodore 64 up.....
you met who at the shops?
Ever worked with someone who lives their life loudly over the office phone? Theres a woman in my cluster of desks and her entire life is played out over her mobile and the office phone, loudly and constantly.
The guy at the other end of the office knows exactly what her mortgage quote from the abbey national is. Her vet is called Mr Mayhew and her dog has a chronic ear infection (probably from listening to her) Her boyfreind was great last night.All this and more.
Please please be quiet or I may be forced to remove your eyeballs with your stapler, and yes we all know its yours , you told us many times and I can see your name etched on it with a staple.
I have to admit, I really enjoyed the last series, and now I'm looking forward to the next one getting going.It was utter saturday night telly; leave your brain at the door. Nice writing, good acting, funny and cheeky.
I arrive at Dr Who from a slightly different angle from the Russmyster as I was never particularly fan- I did however have a crush on Sylvester McCoy but I don't think that counts. Ashamed as I am to admit it the first full episode of Dr Who I ever watched had Christopher Ecclestone in it. Shocking!
I have pretended to be a Dr Who fan however- I have been inside a real dalek and I have clapped the original K-9. Sad but true as metallica once sang
clickety click
I foolishly use two email addresses at work. The one you can swear on, make lewd comments and generally be awful in (yahoo) and the work one which I have discovered actually blots out rude words for you (MS outlook)
This has resulted in a particularly tiresome game of email ping pong where I have to click between email accounts to see if I have emails.
I have a confession to make.
I'm one of those people who constantly checks to see if I have mail. Its actually scary. I don't even think about it I just *click ,click, click* all the time. Every mouse depression is my little soul shouting "somebody love me pleasse!!!" I know no joy like a '1 unread message' sign.
gimmie coffee an a labotomy
I just opened a sachet of sugar in the coffee room while chatting with a guy from another department, y'know casual like. I then proceeded to throw the sugar in the bin and chuck the empty sachet in my cup. While doing this I was explaining how I had two computer screens and I couldn't get them both to work. After this display the general feeling was 'thats not suprising'
I now have both working (thanks davie)and can have two things open at once- just now I have blogger open on one screen and a word doc. open on the other and my pointer rolls between them both. Thats pretty cool you have to admit. Or I'm really behind with the times and everyone has it except me and again, I'm late to the party-again. anyway I'm going to boot my Commodore 64 up.....
you met who at the shops?
Ever worked with someone who lives their life loudly over the office phone? Theres a woman in my cluster of desks and her entire life is played out over her mobile and the office phone, loudly and constantly.
The guy at the other end of the office knows exactly what her mortgage quote from the abbey national is. Her vet is called Mr Mayhew and her dog has a chronic ear infection (probably from listening to her) Her boyfreind was great last night.All this and more.
Please please be quiet or I may be forced to remove your eyeballs with your stapler, and yes we all know its yours , you told us many times and I can see your name etched on it with a staple.
Ahhh... new teeth
Mes Amis
Change, my dear, and not a moment too soon... Pictures up at the BBC of the new Doctor Who as played by Tennant. Oooo, I'm all a quiver with excitement (that last series was so damn good; hell, even Billie managed to look like she was acting). I like the new look. A blend of the eccentricity of old combined with a casual, slightly modern look.
They have a lot to live up to next season, but from what I can gather they have a treat for old fans with Sarah Jane Smith (played by Elisabeth Sladen) making an appearance. She used to travel with Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker back in the old days. They also have Stephen Fry writing an episode, a guest appearance by Anthony Stewart Head who used to stalk his next door neighbour under the pretence of having no coffee and later taught young ladies how to use pointy sticks.
And one word: Cybermen. They'd better get them right. The Cybermen never quite lived up to their potential (and for such emotionless creatures they alway seemed really fuckin' angry all the time!)
Squat... You think that pic was bad, Ms Simpson? There is one on the roll where it looks like I'm having a dump in a graveyard. That one, well, I like it.
Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now.
Au revoir
Russel
Monday, July 25
I love cup noodle
Back at work today for the first time after my so called holiday. Work is actually proving preferable to the holiday, how bad is that?
I know you all think I'm an arguementative and nasty type, you especially russ, but I'm really not, I'm quite aimiable. I just wanted to get that in before i tell you how bad my holiday was.
Camping was the plan, I wasn't too keen but my freind, who we'll call charlotte, was well keen.
I have to admit, in the last couple of months charlotte's behaviour had been getting worse and worse. Really selfish me me me kinda stuff. I think it was like a boiling a frog situation.Overall her behaviour had become abysmal but because it was over a period of time I just got used to it. So away we went in the tent up north.
Charlotte got her tongue pierced the day before we went away (duhhhhh) so she was silent and sullen. Every thing I said was reacted to in a kind of 'yeah, whatever' way. or with no answer at all. Cheerful.
Wednesday I checked my bank and discovered I had no cash and I realised I would have to go home. Much stomping of feet and seething silent anger from charlotte. Eventually she snapped and screamed at me in the street that I was making it all her fault and that I had ruined her holiday because I needed to go home- she only had a fortnight off work and I had wrecked it. Ignoring the fact I only had 5 days in total holiday due from work until december and I had to take 3 of them to go away with her and I only had £10 in the bank and payday was a week and a half away. So the upshot of it is I ended up having to spend my last £10 on the bus back from St Andrews.
I'm gonna add a cheezie type ending. On the bus home I had a rare chance to have a good think about everything. I reckon that I've got better freinds than that going around. Don't need a mate that uses me to improve their own social standing and make them look better. Or that was rude to my other freinds and family.
There we are, a busy week. I only told her to fuck off once too!
If you feel like you're alone, weird, 'no-one else thinks like me' type thing then check this out
I know you all think I'm an arguementative and nasty type, you especially russ, but I'm really not, I'm quite aimiable. I just wanted to get that in before i tell you how bad my holiday was.
Camping was the plan, I wasn't too keen but my freind, who we'll call charlotte, was well keen.
I have to admit, in the last couple of months charlotte's behaviour had been getting worse and worse. Really selfish me me me kinda stuff. I think it was like a boiling a frog situation.Overall her behaviour had become abysmal but because it was over a period of time I just got used to it. So away we went in the tent up north.
Charlotte got her tongue pierced the day before we went away (duhhhhh) so she was silent and sullen. Every thing I said was reacted to in a kind of 'yeah, whatever' way. or with no answer at all. Cheerful.
Wednesday I checked my bank and discovered I had no cash and I realised I would have to go home. Much stomping of feet and seething silent anger from charlotte. Eventually she snapped and screamed at me in the street that I was making it all her fault and that I had ruined her holiday because I needed to go home- she only had a fortnight off work and I had wrecked it. Ignoring the fact I only had 5 days in total holiday due from work until december and I had to take 3 of them to go away with her and I only had £10 in the bank and payday was a week and a half away. So the upshot of it is I ended up having to spend my last £10 on the bus back from St Andrews.
I'm gonna add a cheezie type ending. On the bus home I had a rare chance to have a good think about everything. I reckon that I've got better freinds than that going around. Don't need a mate that uses me to improve their own social standing and make them look better. Or that was rude to my other freinds and family.
There we are, a busy week. I only told her to fuck off once too!
If you feel like you're alone, weird, 'no-one else thinks like me' type thing then check this out
I'd like to share
Russ has this picture on his website. It says'russel looking pensive' I think steve throws the dogs into the backdoor if they begin to take that sort of pensive stance. Squatting I'd call it but then again I'm not literary.
not to be left behind
Rebecca Simpson's Aliases |
Your movie star name: Cup Noodle William |
Your fashion designer name is Rebecca Frankfurt |
Your socialite name is Measle Dundee |
Your fly girl / guy name is R Sim |
Your detective name is Stoat Renfrew |
Your barfly name is Chocolate Orange Schnapps |
Your soap opera name is Kirklandneuk |
Your rock star name is Malteasers Stars |
Your star wars name is Rebfer Simbob |
Your punk rock band name is The Spanking Wheelie Bin |
Wednesday, July 20
No Sleep
Mes Amis
I really can't sleep. Can't get sleepy. Want to but can't.
So I'm writing but then I needed a break and as ever went to see if there were any distractions at Human Under Construction (Jen always seems to find some fun distractions...) and, of course, there was a name generator thingy. Which was amusing. And then I saw my punk band name.
Banana Hammock is a funny word.
Ahhhh... timewasting
au revoir
Russel
I really can't sleep. Can't get sleepy. Want to but can't.
So I'm writing but then I needed a break and as ever went to see if there were any distractions at Human Under Construction (Jen always seems to find some fun distractions...) and, of course, there was a name generator thingy. Which was amusing. And then I saw my punk band name.
Banana Hammock is a funny word.
Russel D McLean's Aliases |
| Your movie star name: Twix John |
| Your fashion designer name is Russel Marseilles |
| Your socialite name is Rusty New York |
| Your fly girl / guy name is R McL |
| Your detective name is Bat Bell Baxter |
| Your barfly name is Dorritos IPA |
| Your soap opera name is D Old Town |
| Your rock star name is Topic The Flash |
| Your star wars name is Ruspoo McLnat |
| Your punk rock band name is The Frustrated Banana Hammock |
The Amazing Meganame Generator
Ahhhh... timewasting
au revoir
Russel
Saturday, July 16
On the QT and very hush-hush...
Mes Amis
Hogwarts Confidential... Not as bad as it could have been today... really... most people understood out Potter offer and very few people kicked up a fuss. Someone tried to tell me The Half Blood Prince wasn't the new one but I kicked them in the crotch and told them if they dared contradict my book knowledge again I'd make them read Jeffrey Archer.
Anyway, just came across the Guardian's competition to write about the death of Dumbledore (I understand he might be the dude with the big beard) in the style of another author. Frankly, the world would be a better place if James Ellroy had written the Potter books. Of course if it really was Ellroy writing it there'd be far more sex, pages of bad language and... well, I'd be reading Harry Potter books like there was more tomorrow...
Remember you heard it here on the QT and very hush-hush.
Au revoir
Russel
Hogwarts Confidential... Not as bad as it could have been today... really... most people understood out Potter offer and very few people kicked up a fuss. Someone tried to tell me The Half Blood Prince wasn't the new one but I kicked them in the crotch and told them if they dared contradict my book knowledge again I'd make them read Jeffrey Archer.
Anyway, just came across the Guardian's competition to write about the death of Dumbledore (I understand he might be the dude with the big beard) in the style of another author. Frankly, the world would be a better place if James Ellroy had written the Potter books. Of course if it really was Ellroy writing it there'd be far more sex, pages of bad language and... well, I'd be reading Harry Potter books like there was more tomorrow...
Remember you heard it here on the QT and very hush-hush.
Au revoir
Russel
Friday, July 15
Harry Potter and the Half-Wit Public
Mes Amis
Oh, oh, oh its (not) magic... I have a name for my pain and that name is Harry Potter. As some of you may know, in my real life I work in the world of book retail. And that means that tomorrow is the day from hell. Oh, yes, Harry Potter is released on the world. Already today we've had hundreds of half-wits (well maybe a few less, we're a small shop) asking us to buy it today. They can't understand why we can't sell it to them*. "But its oan releese at midnight, mahn," they say, scrunching up their foreheads in confusion. "Ye's can fuckin gie us it noo, likes." And that's just the five years olds. I am proud to say I have not read Potter. And its not because of some half-assed stuck-up pretentious, "I'm cooler than you" bullshit. Its just because, frankly, I don't care. I might get round to it one day. And I think its great if it encourages kids to read but I don't know that it does. I suspect it just encourages them to read Harry Potter. Will they move on to discover other literary delights? I doubt it, sometimes. I might be wrong but when you see some of the neanderthal kids who stumble into our store, its clear they don't care about other books. Just the one they're told to buy (JK Rowling has an amazing advertising campaign). Of course, a few do surprise me. I'm pleasantly surprised to see Horrowitz is still popular (I loved the Diamond Brother books when I was young) and all the girls love Jackie Wilson, you know, the one who writes about that girl Tracey who owns a beaker (or something like that: I know she didn't sing Reet-Petite).
Anyway, the fact is I hate this time of year so probably this post is filled with biased bile. I accept that and if you want to defend Harry go ahead. The fact is I'm not railing against Harry or JK (Who'da thought as well as funking out and wearing hats he was a bestselling female author of children's novels) but rather against the pathetic amount of fuss made over this one book and the pressure on retailers at the time of its release. Retail makes you cynical that way. I hate a Harry Potter release. I hate the bloodlust, I hate the fact that adults try to look cool by buying an adult edition and most of all I hate the idea of midnight openings. I hate the competition for pricing. Luckily our shop is small enough we dodged a bullet this year with the midnight opening malarkey.
Oh well, all power to Ms Rowling. Wish I had her bank balance (as do many other authors.)
In the meantime, have a read about it all in The Guardian.
*We can't sell it because if we do then Bloomsbury's Laser Satellite Tracking System is alerted and we're visited by the CEO, armed with some sellotape, a broom handle, a rabbi and a small Hamster called Horace. I won't go into details...
Too Hot to sleep... Really, folks, its a Dundonian heatwave here... I'm melting in this heat and the worst thing is it gets really hot at night so I can't even relax then. Mind you, here's one cure for sleeplessness I know not to try. Although the part before the scooter sounds worth a try.
Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now.
Au Revoir
Russel
Oh, oh, oh its (not) magic... I have a name for my pain and that name is Harry Potter. As some of you may know, in my real life I work in the world of book retail. And that means that tomorrow is the day from hell. Oh, yes, Harry Potter is released on the world. Already today we've had hundreds of half-wits (well maybe a few less, we're a small shop) asking us to buy it today. They can't understand why we can't sell it to them*. "But its oan releese at midnight, mahn," they say, scrunching up their foreheads in confusion. "Ye's can fuckin gie us it noo, likes." And that's just the five years olds. I am proud to say I have not read Potter. And its not because of some half-assed stuck-up pretentious, "I'm cooler than you" bullshit. Its just because, frankly, I don't care. I might get round to it one day. And I think its great if it encourages kids to read but I don't know that it does. I suspect it just encourages them to read Harry Potter. Will they move on to discover other literary delights? I doubt it, sometimes. I might be wrong but when you see some of the neanderthal kids who stumble into our store, its clear they don't care about other books. Just the one they're told to buy (JK Rowling has an amazing advertising campaign). Of course, a few do surprise me. I'm pleasantly surprised to see Horrowitz is still popular (I loved the Diamond Brother books when I was young) and all the girls love Jackie Wilson, you know, the one who writes about that girl Tracey who owns a beaker (or something like that: I know she didn't sing Reet-Petite).
Anyway, the fact is I hate this time of year so probably this post is filled with biased bile. I accept that and if you want to defend Harry go ahead. The fact is I'm not railing against Harry or JK (Who'da thought as well as funking out and wearing hats he was a bestselling female author of children's novels) but rather against the pathetic amount of fuss made over this one book and the pressure on retailers at the time of its release. Retail makes you cynical that way. I hate a Harry Potter release. I hate the bloodlust, I hate the fact that adults try to look cool by buying an adult edition and most of all I hate the idea of midnight openings. I hate the competition for pricing. Luckily our shop is small enough we dodged a bullet this year with the midnight opening malarkey.
Oh well, all power to Ms Rowling. Wish I had her bank balance (as do many other authors.)
In the meantime, have a read about it all in The Guardian.
*We can't sell it because if we do then Bloomsbury's Laser Satellite Tracking System is alerted and we're visited by the CEO, armed with some sellotape, a broom handle, a rabbi and a small Hamster called Horace. I won't go into details...
Too Hot to sleep... Really, folks, its a Dundonian heatwave here... I'm melting in this heat and the worst thing is it gets really hot at night so I can't even relax then. Mind you, here's one cure for sleeplessness I know not to try. Although the part before the scooter sounds worth a try.
Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now.
Au Revoir
Russel
Saturday, July 9
And We're Done...
Mes Amis
Mmmmm... books... At last, mes amis, the flat is done! Two-odd years and its all painted, the bathroom's redone, the lights refitted and all the shite furniture away. The carpets were fitted on wednesday (and very comfortable they are, too!) and now all my books have returned from storage. Thirteen large cardboard boxes of the buggers. In my tiny flat I now have six full to bursting bookcases and several storage boxes of comic books. But I feel truly at home, now. I hope I don't have to move any time soon...
Mother, father, I shall become a bat... Since seeing Batman Begins (twice, now: and both times with fucking kids nearby - don't parents even think that it might be a 12A for a fuckin' reason?) I have been reliving my comic book geekness. So getting back all these comics has meant I can start to re-read a few of the classics. Like Batman Year One which is one of the best and most grounded Batman stories told. A true origin story, this belongs more to Gordon than Bruce and I kinda wish we could have seen Oldman have a story arc like this to deal with as Gordon cuts through corruption in the GCPD. Maybe we will in the next movie, you never know. Strangely it ends in a way similar to Begins with Gordon finding out there's a new costumed villain in town with a flair for the theatrical... I've also found copies of Batman v Predator (a surprisingly good story considering the dreck they could have written) and I'm about to dive into Knightfall - watch Batman's back get broken, folks. Truly a milestone unlike the poor publicity stunt DC were running at the same time with the "death" of Super(boring)Man.
Mmmmmmonkey!... With thanks to Jen for providing yet more frippery...
Mmmmm... books... At last, mes amis, the flat is done! Two-odd years and its all painted, the bathroom's redone, the lights refitted and all the shite furniture away. The carpets were fitted on wednesday (and very comfortable they are, too!) and now all my books have returned from storage. Thirteen large cardboard boxes of the buggers. In my tiny flat I now have six full to bursting bookcases and several storage boxes of comic books. But I feel truly at home, now. I hope I don't have to move any time soon...
Mother, father, I shall become a bat... Since seeing Batman Begins (twice, now: and both times with fucking kids nearby - don't parents even think that it might be a 12A for a fuckin' reason?) I have been reliving my comic book geekness. So getting back all these comics has meant I can start to re-read a few of the classics. Like Batman Year One which is one of the best and most grounded Batman stories told. A true origin story, this belongs more to Gordon than Bruce and I kinda wish we could have seen Oldman have a story arc like this to deal with as Gordon cuts through corruption in the GCPD. Maybe we will in the next movie, you never know. Strangely it ends in a way similar to Begins with Gordon finding out there's a new costumed villain in town with a flair for the theatrical... I've also found copies of Batman v Predator (a surprisingly good story considering the dreck they could have written) and I'm about to dive into Knightfall - watch Batman's back get broken, folks. Truly a milestone unlike the poor publicity stunt DC were running at the same time with the "death" of Super(boring)Man.
Mmmmmmonkey!... With thanks to Jen for providing yet more frippery...
Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now
Au revoir
Russel
Tuesday, July 5
Wait... worry... who cares?
Mes Amis
On a darker note... I got the DVD of Millenium Season 1 a week ago and, by God, its a bleak show. I never really watched it the first time round. The X Files connection put me off a little, but this is seriously dark crime drama with a supernatural edge here in the first season. Lance Henriskon is suitably world weary as Frank Black and there's barely a hint of light throughout the whole thing. Serial killers, rapists and scumbags seem to be forcing all that's good out of the world and its all Lance can do to stop the filth spreading any further. Sometimes it gets difficult to watch (The Well Worn Lock) but its so well done you can't help but continue... apparently things got more supernatural in season 2 but as a series of stand alone supernaturally-tinged psycho-dramas, Millenium season 1 is top notch stuff.
Mother... the blood... speaking of Psycho's, just read the novel Psycho, by Robert Bloch, which was later turned into the movie by Mr Hitchcock himself. Absolutely wonderful stuff and, at only 150 pages, amazingly trim. Hard to get used to the idea of Norman as fat and fortyish with glasses, but all the same this is well worth rediscovering.
Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now.
Au revoir
Russel
On a darker note... I got the DVD of Millenium Season 1 a week ago and, by God, its a bleak show. I never really watched it the first time round. The X Files connection put me off a little, but this is seriously dark crime drama with a supernatural edge here in the first season. Lance Henriskon is suitably world weary as Frank Black and there's barely a hint of light throughout the whole thing. Serial killers, rapists and scumbags seem to be forcing all that's good out of the world and its all Lance can do to stop the filth spreading any further. Sometimes it gets difficult to watch (The Well Worn Lock) but its so well done you can't help but continue... apparently things got more supernatural in season 2 but as a series of stand alone supernaturally-tinged psycho-dramas, Millenium season 1 is top notch stuff.
Mother... the blood... speaking of Psycho's, just read the novel Psycho, by Robert Bloch, which was later turned into the movie by Mr Hitchcock himself. Absolutely wonderful stuff and, at only 150 pages, amazingly trim. Hard to get used to the idea of Norman as fat and fortyish with glasses, but all the same this is well worth rediscovering.
Anyway, mes amis, that's all for now.
Au revoir
Russel
dont worry it's only kinky the first time you do it.....
So I've discovered the joy's of podcasting.
I dunno if its just me but I like listening to people just chatting away, especially if its about sex. I'm still mentally about 15 years old, I find sex hilarious.
So I recommend looking up 'dawn and drew' But only if you can cope with expletives. Lots of them.
Why is the time not moving quickly? I must have been in this office about 12 hours now and it says it's still only twenty to four. How is that?
I dunno if its just me but I like listening to people just chatting away, especially if its about sex. I'm still mentally about 15 years old, I find sex hilarious.
So I recommend looking up 'dawn and drew' But only if you can cope with expletives. Lots of them.
Why is the time not moving quickly? I must have been in this office about 12 hours now and it says it's still only twenty to four. How is that?
Friday, July 1
oh yeah
Happy birthday Russ me old bud.
You've been my mate for FAR too long (6 years!!). I'm constantly amazed at how far we've come in life and I'm overwhelmingly proud at how far you're going. You still dance like a monkey. You have good coffee, worrying pants and obscene slippers but I'm still pleased to be able to call you my Friend.
You've been my mate for FAR too long (6 years!!). I'm constantly amazed at how far we've come in life and I'm overwhelmingly proud at how far you're going. You still dance like a monkey. You have good coffee, worrying pants and obscene slippers but I'm still pleased to be able to call you my Friend.
beached whale
I'd like to take a moment to describe how to Russel dance , if I may.
Take a liberal quaff of beer, add to it a small retarded cavedwelling bacteria. Eat this mixture. Spin round 17 times.
Sell your soul to a small dog for 10p.Take the ten pence and buy a rubber band, attach to your genitalia (male or female or both, whatever)wait until the aforementioned genitalia turns black.
when your favorite song comes on you,wearing something black, Wrap your body in hotwater bottles until heat stroke threatens and limp into a suitably crowded place. Make sure to undo your top to the point that you may be arrested. spasm and twitch.Don't forget to yell the first name of the artist loudly i.e "BRITNEEEYYYYY"
(Lurch at the fellow dancers and just know you're sexy) Repeat as desired.
Take a liberal quaff of beer, add to it a small retarded cavedwelling bacteria. Eat this mixture. Spin round 17 times.
Sell your soul to a small dog for 10p.Take the ten pence and buy a rubber band, attach to your genitalia (male or female or both, whatever)wait until the aforementioned genitalia turns black.
when your favorite song comes on you,wearing something black, Wrap your body in hotwater bottles until heat stroke threatens and limp into a suitably crowded place. Make sure to undo your top to the point that you may be arrested. spasm and twitch.Don't forget to yell the first name of the artist loudly i.e "BRITNEEEYYYYY"
(Lurch at the fellow dancers and just know you're sexy) Repeat as desired.
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