How difficult can this be?....seriously

VERY

I find this blogging lark exceedingly difficult, as I was discussing recently with the esteemed Mr Mclean on the phone.
I get angry about something and I think, "I know, I'll blog it"
By the time I think it through and sit down at the computer I've ran out of steam and can't imagine why anyone would want to read my innane rants.
So I end up feeling strangly impotent, I have it all here in my head but can't get it blogged. I think it might be something to do with my illiteracy. I read a book a day but can't actually effectively write anything down, you should see my essays from uni, I can discuss a subject perfectly with the lecturer but my essays are the written equivelent of "ughhhhhhhhhhhh".
This is why I get very jealous of Russel. He can communicate with people so well through his writing and I really envy him.
Even realising recently that Stuart McBride has read my blog a few times makes me feel crappy. I respect him as an author ('Cold Granite' fucking Rocks, not just rocks-but fucking rocks) then he shmoozes over here and reads my pathetic musings.How embarrassing is that?
I think I need practice.

And then...

SO I thought I would tell you about what I've been doing in the last wee while.
Sunday was Mum's birthday so she buggered off out and I went to Borders on the actual day. She got a present though! I ended up getting her mad aromatherapy hand cream made by a proper apothecary. £15!!! For hand cream!!!! I'd want new hands for £15, or at least some kind of skin graft, but it was her birthday so we'll ignore that for now. She had wanted a copy of Stuart McBrides new book instead but it took me a while to explain that I'd probably have to break into the publishers with a balaclava and a glass cutter to obtain a copy right now. Maybe for Christmas. Or Yule, as I'm celebrating this year.
Saturday was the Craft Fair at the SECC which we seem to traditionally go to for mums birthday. All went well until I bought a little snail badge type thing. It's really realistic, wet looking etc. I noticed when I tried to pin it on that the pin part wasn't as sturdy as it could have been. Cue disappointment 10 minutes later when I realised it was no longer attached to my jacket.So back to the stall to tell them how shoddy their badge was and the lady tried to show me how a pin works!! To say I was angry is an understatement. So as usual the anger got the better of me and I shook, felt sick, went slightly blind and tried to talk, failing miserably. I would tell you what I said but I can't actually remember.Thats how bad I get. I don't shout or anything, I just kind of crumble inwards. I walked away but a little while later my mum caught up with me and had got me a new badge *nice*
According to her freind she had also had a go at the stall holder, discussed how shoddy it was with all the people round the stall and cancelled an order her work had with the owners of the stall that lost them A LOT of money. (Think an order for 800 badges at £7 a badge) I love my mum.
Thats been about it. I trained as an Eco schools assessor on Friday but you wouldn't be interested in that....