Revenge of the Syph

Mes Amis

Cosmic Wars... Quite, frankly, George "Who needs a script when I've got a computer?" Lucas, I don't give a shit any more. You can claim that Revenge of the Syph (or whatever you're calling it now) is going to be "much more dark…more emotional. It's much more of a tragedy" (according to sources right here) but you're forgetting the high standards of "emotion" your previous films have set. If by emotion you mean cloying, cute-kid-with-daft-haircut-and-big-eyes sentimentality then you gave us enough of that with The Phantom Menace... if by emotion you mean a couple of scenes with Natalie Portman being demeaned by forcing herself to make googly eyes at Hayden "Can you give me expressive features with the CGI rendering, George?"Christiansen against a backdrop of some standard alien landscape replete with cute, "alien" Highland cows then you made me puke all over the floor when my then girlfriend dragged me to see Attack of the Clowns (she enjoyed it, but then, she also enjoyed 40 Days And 40 Nights, too, so that's probably why she's my "then" girlfriend and not my "now" girlfriend). You're not convincing anyone, okay? The first three films (well the second half of the first, the whole of the second and maybe the first third of the third) were fun and still allowed you to make bucketloads of cash from the merchandising... but now you've convinced everyone apart from the die-hard delusionals and the five year olds that the Star Wars movies aren't worth going to see. Oh, and you've just eliminated half that audience, of course - - "I don't think I would take a five- or a six-year-old to this It's way too strong."

However... I did grin like a little boy when Yoda did his pinball impression. But two hours of pain for two seconds of guilty pleasure? Hardly seems fair, does it?

Ain't it Uncool... I used to love Ain't It Cool for its homespun approach to movies and geek-like tendencies. It used to be kinda fun to hang around until it became homeground to illiterate "reviews" and whiny-ass forum dwellers who have a sub-mental age of five (Hey, I just called you gay and I said ass...)... I even have a review (complete with a few flubs about the film in question's pedigree) up there myself from a few years ago... But now I feel terribly mature. I'm still a geek, but I need a movie site with more meat on the bones and less chance for the assholes of the world to start pretending they're funny... and I found it... Mary Ann Johansen runs the Flick Filosopher in a dictatorial fashion which means you have continuity of opinion and some very smartly written reviews. She is equal parts geek, intelligent film-critic, very funny and just a generally personable lady to judge by her easygoing style. Even when I don't agree with her opinions she puts across such an eloquent and often amusing point you just have to forgive her. So for those of you who want a film reviewer who's, well, a little more like you than the rest, that's my reccomendation for the day.

Well, that's all for today, mes amis

Au Revoir

Russel